The dental hospital made cut backs, and Bella was looking for a post.

A local dentist advertised: a dental nurse required. She was interviewed. The dentist rang, I took the message: the job was hers. She hadn’t yet returned from the interview, didn’t know the result. She was pleased. So were we.

There was a shift pattern at the dental practice; no two weeks was the same. Scrutiny of the pay-slip showed she had taken a part time job. She understood there to be extra hours on offer if, and when needed. I understood reduced contractual hours meant reduced benefits. Still she was happy, and the months ticked by.

Her twenty-first birthday celebrations: For friends: A table was booked at an Italian restaurant. Dad beforehand popped in to order wine to flow at his expense–I know! For extended family, we threw a house party with a few friends invited. I played the record we bought for her birth: Isn’t she lovely – written by Stevie Wonder. I gave a little speech: How lucky she is to have both sets of grandparents at her age. She was mortified.

I filmed the event, each time the camera pointed her way, she frowned, shared her annoyance with friends. I had become an embarrassment to her.

There was no abuse of alcohol at this party–she behaved in the company of relatives–for now.

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I am the mother of two adult daughters, both much loved and cared for. The eldest thought she could handle social drinking and party drugs, she could not. There is a journey addicts relate to - their journey. As a mother I have healed through the written word. This is my journey.

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