Husband and I had a discussion about our daughter’s state of mind, our daughter’s state of misery.

We asked whether she would like to come, and live with us for a while.

She did.

Black plastic bags all packed; I brought her home again. Emptied a wardrobe for her stuff to go in.

Her bedroom welcomed her. Bella went to work, came home, had supper with us. Weekends, we went for walks, bought goodies to eat, watched movies. She started to bloom again. Six weeks went by, not a problem in sight.

‘I’m going out Saturday night,’ she said.

Good for her, mix with people her own age. ‘Don’t drink too much, and don’t be in late,’ I said. I prayed.

These demands were not music to her ears. ‘Think I’ll go to my own house, after my night out.’

Okay, one level I was glad about that. For many years, with two daughters out in the night, of listening for taxi doors to slam, a key to slide in the lock, footsteps to hammer up the stairs, before I allowed myself to fall asleep.

Bella rang next day at lunch, Husband answered the phone then held it out to me, ‘She doesn’t sound right,’ he said.

I took the phone, ‘You okay?’ I asked.

The line went click.

 

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I am the mother of two adult daughters, both much loved and cared for. The eldest thought she could handle social drinking and party drugs, she could not. There is a journey addicts relate to - their journey. As a mother I have healed through the written word. This is my journey.

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