Anxiety

Bella’s new build house was near completion.

Said she wasn’t sure about buying a house, and did not want to move in.

Said she was happy to live at The Big I Am’s–what she said was a lie.

Bella said to live with him, she paid money, a considerable sum, each month. We encouraged her to leave, come home and wait for new digs but she declined.

Mr Big I Am got upset if she mentioned quitting, she thought it best to stay.

‘Go ahead with your house purchase, invest,’ we encouraged. The independence it would give. ‘Don’t have to move in, let the property, receive rent instead.’  We could help.

Bella applied for promotion; to move from the buzz of hospital life, away from varied staff to a nursing home, more sedate, fewer people to mingle. She practiced interview techniques, and put on a show for me. She got the position, said she was relieved, The Big I Am wanted the promotion, he wanted the money.

One day she telephoned, said she would visit after her shift, something to tell me, a problem to share.

With anxiety brewing I waited. I pushed a coffee in her hand, ‘So what’s wrong?’ She declined to answer, dismissed her earlier suggestion.

Often, she would seem troubled, something on her mind. I questioned her, but just couldn’t push through the barrier she had erected.

She wasn’t ready to let me into her world.

She wasn’t ready to leave Mr Big I Am.

IMG_4681

 

 

 

 

I am the mother of two adult daughters, both much loved and cared for. The eldest thought she could handle social drinking and party drugs, she could not. There is a journey addicts relate to - their journey. As a mother I have healed through the written word. This is my journey.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: