Husband and I took walks in the morning; sun bathed on the beach, had cocktails at sundown, then a gourmet evening meal.

Fabulous holidays. Where would we be without them? Without a break from work and routine, a release from the heartache at home?

No–I worried still. We had left our daughter in a state of crisis.

I looked out at the sea, at the sun going down, the moon appearing. I listened to the roll of waves, the squawk of birds, children playing with glee. Every sight, sound and smell, held memories of my daughter. I saw her in everything. I felt I would lose her. I worried she would die.

I was on holiday, but my mind was home with her.

A text message appeared on my phone, from my other daughter–she had seen Bella in the beauty parlour, waiting to have a treatment.

What the!

I was glad. I was mad.

How could she go from being so desolate to so carefree, in a matter of days?

This would become a pattern, with each repeat I suffered in the same way as the first.

With our suntan and suitcase, we headed back home.

On the journey, my anxiety level climbed with the plane. I wondered what I was going home to. I wanted to see Bella, but I dreaded what I would see.


Addict Child by Lesley Sefton buy on amazon

I am the mother of two adult daughters, both much loved and cared for. The eldest thought she could handle social drinking and party drugs, she could not. There is a journey addicts relate to - their journey. As a mother I have healed through the written word. This is my journey.

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